especially when you are most comfortable doing the complete opposite..
Last week is not a really good week..
A lot of things happened,
Things that I never wish to happen in a million years..
Things that broke my heart..
Things that makes me happy..
and things that give me a chance to create a whole new me..
I think, I used to be a very hardworking girl..
I think, I used to be a very smart girl..
I think, I used to have a plan for everything..
I think, I used to make decisions for my sake instead of others before..
I think, I used to do everything to make sure I am not hurt..
I think, I used to never let myself be swept off my feet by anything..
I think, I used to not put any hope or trust or hope on anybody but myself..
but now,
I am as lazy as a sloth.. or maybe lazier..
I am and feel like an idiot each day..
I have no plans for anything at all..
I make decisions to make others happy..
I do everything even if I am hurt by it..
I am easily swayed by people..
and my biggest mistake ever : I trust and have hopes on others..
So now, as I am beginning to restart my life,
I need to change myself as I believe,
I was much happier back in the days I used to be me..
First step : Make a plan for my daily life
~ having a schedule for study and play times is good enough..
I am a student after all..
~ I am going to make sure I follow the schedule the best I can..
what is the use of it if I don't follow it, right ?
Second step : Study like I am having the final exam tomorrow
~ I made a decision long ago to not be better than a certain someone, but now I think, I should be the best that I can..
~ Maybe then, I can get the long awaited 4.2 GPA my mother have been dreaming of for years..
~ the nerdy aisyah is back !!
Third step : Enjoy my time with my friends to the fullest
~ with my friends around, even the most painful moment of my life just occurred I'll be just fine..
~ my friends are real life savers sometimes.. they'll listen to me even when they don't want to.. but that's all I really need..
Fourth step : I am only to do things that will make me happy..
~ I love smiling and I hate crying.. but most of all, I hate smiling when I actually feel like crying, which I actually do a lot nowadays..
~ I am gonna think through everything before doing anything so I won't be hurt, ever !
That is all there is to the beginning of my new life.
I am girl that loves order.. I am a cancer after all..
So, my life beginning next week will be nothing but order..
p/s : I just read this book.. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
If you are a fan of mysteries, this is a book to read..
