18th Story : The Failure

I hate myself if I fail at anything at all..
I will blame myself for every little details that contribute to that failure..
and I will never stop blaming myself for it..

I have a very good memory of the bad things that happen to me..
I rarely remember the happy stuffs but I never forget something bad..
So, every failure that happened to me for around the almost the past 15 years,
are mostly in my head..

I still remember how I failed to run away from kindergarten when I was 6..
Even now, I still can't believe how stupid I was back then..
The plan was perfect..
When the teacher is going out through the gate to buy snacks in front of the kindergarten,
I am going to go out and stop a taxi to go home..
the mistake I made was,
As I was walking out of the gate,
I said bye loudly and wave to my teacher..
Habits are scary..

There are loads more failures I made because of my habits..
and also because I don't have the necessary habits..

If I really compare myself to others,
my failures are not that much and not as important..
Others have failures that led them to their death..
Or make their lives a living hell..
Mine is never that big..
Most of my failures are trivial..
but because I can remember most of them,
I view myself as a failure..