Oct 31, 2009
6th Story : The Trust
A friend said to me : " I'll tell u when I really trust you and I don't trust people that easily. "
What he said has kept me thinking very hard since then..
Why didn't he trust me ?
Did I do something that I cannot have his trust ?
But then, I began to pounder..
Have anyone ever trusted me and have I ever trusted anybody before ?
Are there anyone who trust people easily ?
Because I can't remember the last time I trusted anybody and was trusted by somebody..
It must be a very hard and a burdening thing to be done..
To me, to trust somebody is..
to entrust them with your deepest secret..
to have faith that they will never hurt you..
to know that they will always be there for you..
to share your worst memories..
to have faith that a friend will never lead you astray..
to know that you can entrust them with your own life..
But, my whole life, I never have someone that I think I trust..
I have never..
tell my deepest secret to anyone..
think that people in my life will never hurt me..
dream that anyone will always be there for me..
share my worst memories with anyone..
think that I will not be astrayed..
known anyone that I can give my life to..
Even how close I am to anyone..
be it my family, my best friend, my closest teachers..
I have never truly and honestly trusted them..
I kept everything to myself..
I just realized that all this time..
I have always have a guard on..
~Never to be too close to someone..
~Never to be too personal to someone..
~Never to be too caring to someone..
~Never to be too loving to someone..
~Never to be much of anything to someone..
And ~Never to trust anyone..
To me, to never trust someone means,
To never be hurt so much by someone,
That I may even consider dying as an option to forget the pain..
Frank Crane once said :
~ You may be deceived if you trust too much,
but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough..
But, is it possible for someone to trust the me that have never trusted anybody ?
What should I do to have this trust in my heart ?
To trust someone and to earn someones' trust..
Can trust be developed with time ?
I don't think so..
Coz sometimes, we can trust a stranger, whom we knew for less than a day,
more than our own family, whom we knew our whole life..
Can trust be developed with virtue ?
I don't think so..
Coz sometimes, even how nice we are to a person, we cannot gain their trust..
Can trust be developed with a relationship ?
I dont think so..
Coz even two persons with blood ties, an unbroken bond may never trust each other,
what more of two persons with a fragile relation as friendship..
Can trust be developed with love ?
I don't think so..
Coz even when people say love is the strongest thing on earth,
It cannot make trust each other even when they are in love..
Then, how do we come to trust others and be trusted ?
I really want to know what it feels to be trusted and to trust someone..
Here is a story about trust that I think have a very deep meaning to it :
A girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
Then the father said,
'Dear, do hold my hand so you won't fall into the river.'
The girl replied,
'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?', asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.
'If I hold your hand and I am to fall,
I may let go of your hand.
But if you hold my hand, I am sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.'
Ranjith Kumar
Oct 27, 2009
5th Story : The Past
What will you do when your past feelings start haunting you ?
What will you do when someone you used to loved appears in your life again ?
What will you do if you suddenly realize you never stop loving that person in the first place ?
What will you do when our heart just cannot stop thinking of the past ?
Someone..
I never hope to meet..
I never hope to see..
I never hope to talk to..
I never hope to know..
and I never hope to remember..
Appears in my life again..
What should I do to get rid of all this unnecessary feelings..
What should I do to make me stop remembering.
Purest of Pain (A Puro Dolor) - Son By 4
the only song that fits what I am feeling now..
What will you do when someone you used to loved appears in your life again ?
What will you do if you suddenly realize you never stop loving that person in the first place ?
What will you do when our heart just cannot stop thinking of the past ?
Someone..
I never hope to meet..
I never hope to see..
I never hope to talk to..
I never hope to know..
and I never hope to remember..
Appears in my life again..
What should I do to get rid of all this unnecessary feelings..
What should I do to make me stop remembering.
Purest of Pain (A Puro Dolor) - Son By 4
the only song that fits what I am feeling now..
Oct 21, 2009
4th Story : The Smile
Do you know what makes your heart smiles ?
As for me..
Sometimes, something so simple can make my heart smiles happily..
But my heart never smile that easily..
I can be smiling ever so broadly and seems overwhelmingly happy when..
I'm in a party, chatting with people..
I'm with my family watching TV..
I'm gossiping with my friends..
I'm eating a heart full of my favourite dishes..
I'm on a shopping spree with my BFF..
Or the times when..
My friends give me presents..
My date went well..
My parents praise me for being good..
My efforts are worth while..
and when my results are good..
But my heart is not smiling..
Sometimes, I think my heart is even crying because of my pretense..
I always want my heart smile..
but I can't seem to make my heart smile even at my happiest moments..
It is hard for my heart to smile
But it is really not that hard because..
My heart can smile when..
I see the sky early in the morning and at dawn..
I hear the sound of night..
I smell the fresh scent of grass after the rain..
I see my parents' faces when they are happy..
I quarrel and make up with my siblings..
I am cooking..
I see my friends eating their heart out happily..
and when, I can just stand in the rain and let all my worries be washed away..
and, most of all,
My heart smiles its best when I manage to make the ones I love happy..
and just by seeing others being happy because of me..
Here is a simple story about the simplest thing that makes my heart smiles..
Once, I was very frustrated over something I heard..
I tried everything I can to rid of the feelings..
But nothing seems to work..
Then, suddenly..
A person came to me with no idea of what is going on with me
and just said 'hye' with the most wonderful smile on his face..
At that moment, my worries and frustration were gone..
and my heart started smiling again..
All because of a simple SMILE..
As for me..
Sometimes, something so simple can make my heart smiles happily..
But my heart never smile that easily..
I can be smiling ever so broadly and seems overwhelmingly happy when..
I'm in a party, chatting with people..
I'm with my family watching TV..
I'm gossiping with my friends..
I'm eating a heart full of my favourite dishes..
I'm on a shopping spree with my BFF..
Or the times when..
My friends give me presents..
My date went well..
My parents praise me for being good..
My efforts are worth while..
and when my results are good..
But my heart is not smiling..
Sometimes, I think my heart is even crying because of my pretense..
I always want my heart smile..
but I can't seem to make my heart smile even at my happiest moments..
It is hard for my heart to smile
But it is really not that hard because..
My heart can smile when..
I see the sky early in the morning and at dawn..
I hear the sound of night..
I smell the fresh scent of grass after the rain..
I see my parents' faces when they are happy..
I quarrel and make up with my siblings..
I am cooking..
I see my friends eating their heart out happily..
and when, I can just stand in the rain and let all my worries be washed away..
and, most of all,
My heart smiles its best when I manage to make the ones I love happy..
and just by seeing others being happy because of me..
Here is a simple story about the simplest thing that makes my heart smiles..
Once, I was very frustrated over something I heard..
I tried everything I can to rid of the feelings..
But nothing seems to work..
Then, suddenly..
A person came to me with no idea of what is going on with me
and just said 'hye' with the most wonderful smile on his face..
At that moment, my worries and frustration were gone..
and my heart started smiling again..
All because of a simple SMILE..
Oct 17, 2009
3rd Story : The Wait
Being with someone is never easy..
After being close to a person for more than 5 years,
Certain expectations will emerge..
I will expect him to know..
- what kind of flowers do I like..
- what kind of cloths do I wear..
- what am I fond of..
- what am I afraid of..
- what makes me happy..
- what makes me sad..
- what makes me cry..
I will expect that person to show..
- that I am needed in his life..
- that I am a part of his life..
- that I am important..
- that I mean something..
- that he cares about me..
I want to know how does it feel to be needed by someone..
I want to feel what its like to be a part of someones life..
I want to know I am important for someone..
I want to feel that I bring a meaning to someone..
I want to know that someone cares for me..
I want someone to notice and miss me when I am gone..
Too much tears have been flowing just because of my expectations..
My heart has been torn apart too many times to count..
I feel so insignificant, worthless and trivial..
and worst of all, I feel so alone even when I have him by my side..
Even after 5 years,
he still doesn't know what I feel..
what I want in life..
what I need from him..
and he still can't show what he feels towards me..
what he wants from me..
what he needs from me..
Should I wait for him for another 5 years ?
Because honestly, I don't think my heart is that strong anymore..
After being close to a person for more than 5 years,
Certain expectations will emerge..
I will expect him to know..
- what kind of flowers do I like..
- what kind of cloths do I wear..
- what am I fond of..
- what am I afraid of..
- what makes me happy..
- what makes me sad..
- what makes me cry..
I will expect that person to show..
- that I am needed in his life..
- that I am a part of his life..
- that I am important..
- that I mean something..
- that he cares about me..
I want to know how does it feel to be needed by someone..
I want to feel what its like to be a part of someones life..
I want to know I am important for someone..
I want to feel that I bring a meaning to someone..
I want to know that someone cares for me..
I want someone to notice and miss me when I am gone..
Too much tears have been flowing just because of my expectations..
My heart has been torn apart too many times to count..
I feel so insignificant, worthless and trivial..
and worst of all, I feel so alone even when I have him by my side..
Even after 5 years,
he still doesn't know what I feel..
what I want in life..
what I need from him..
and he still can't show what he feels towards me..
what he wants from me..
what he needs from me..
Should I wait for him for another 5 years ?
Because honestly, I don't think my heart is that strong anymore..
Oct 1, 2009
2nd Story : The Choice
In my life, there are always choices to be made whether I want it or not..
and most of the time, the decisions made change my life forever..
Which is the best choice ?
To pursue a dream that will make your life better in the future but be unhappy or a dream that will make you happy but with all the troubles in the world ?
My choice :
a dream that will make my life better in the future.. I'm unhappy with the road I'm taking but I'm living my life and hoping that, that better future will come true..
To go after the guy that you love but give you nothing in return or go after the guy that loves you and will give you all the happiness ?
My choice :
the guy that loves me with all his heart.. even though deep down, I know that in my heart, there's someone else now, in the future, with all the love he gave me, I hope I'll come to love him as much as he loves me..
To please all those around me or make myself happy ?
My choice :
Making all those around me happy even how much it will hurt me.. I believe, one day, there will be a day that I'll be happy when I make others happy.. I'm still waiting..
I made different choices everyday on different issues..
I even made choices for others that I know is best for them..
But the choices I made for myself, I never felt like they are ever best for me..
Because I always ask myself,
Why can't I just let loose and do what ever I feel like doing ?
Why can't I just ignore what will people say about me ?
Why can't I just wear what I want to wear and not think of all the staring ?
Why can't I just say what I want without thinking of how people will feel about it ?
Why can't I just stop lying to myself about what I am ?
Why can't I just be myself ?
I will never be happy until I stop asking myself all this..
Because each time any of these question pops inside my head,
Tears starts pouring even without me noticing..
How long can I live a life with such regret in my heart for making these choices ?
and most of the time, the decisions made change my life forever..
Which is the best choice ?
To pursue a dream that will make your life better in the future but be unhappy or a dream that will make you happy but with all the troubles in the world ?
My choice :
a dream that will make my life better in the future.. I'm unhappy with the road I'm taking but I'm living my life and hoping that, that better future will come true..
To go after the guy that you love but give you nothing in return or go after the guy that loves you and will give you all the happiness ?
My choice :
the guy that loves me with all his heart.. even though deep down, I know that in my heart, there's someone else now, in the future, with all the love he gave me, I hope I'll come to love him as much as he loves me..
To please all those around me or make myself happy ?
My choice :
Making all those around me happy even how much it will hurt me.. I believe, one day, there will be a day that I'll be happy when I make others happy.. I'm still waiting..
I made different choices everyday on different issues..
I even made choices for others that I know is best for them..
But the choices I made for myself, I never felt like they are ever best for me..
Because I always ask myself,
Why can't I just let loose and do what ever I feel like doing ?
Why can't I just ignore what will people say about me ?
Why can't I just wear what I want to wear and not think of all the staring ?
Why can't I just say what I want without thinking of how people will feel about it ?
Why can't I just stop lying to myself about what I am ?
Why can't I just be myself ?
I will never be happy until I stop asking myself all this..
Because each time any of these question pops inside my head,
Tears starts pouring even without me noticing..
How long can I live a life with such regret in my heart for making these choices ?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)