10th Story : The Study

I honestly hate studying for something that I am not interested in..
What more to study something that I hate..
But, right now that is what I am doing..
I kept thinking why am I even burdening myself with such things..
I can get a D at least even without studying at all..
So, why am I trying so hard to get greater grades ?

Even if I get an A for it,
I obviously will not be happy because I pushed myself so hard for it..
and I will not be proud of it as well..
I don't even like it in the first place..

At times like this, I regret taking medicine..
No matter how good I get at something or how bad I did,
I never really care because I don't like studying for it..
Its not like I hate medicine and want to take up something else..
but because most of the things I am learning now..
is of no importance to me in the future..

I don't see any point in studying and memorising
things that are too trivial or too detailed..
but will not be handy in the future..
Like memorising all the attachment of all the muscles in the body..
or the different histological images of cells..
If we are to go to doctors working in the hospital that isn't a lecturer..
None of them even knows any of this anymore..
But, as a student, we have to know for the sake of knowing for exams..
and I hate that so much..

But they can give me a case to study..
and I can and will spend hours and even days of my time to solve it..
because I know its realistic and will be useful to me..
and not something I need to know to be able to write in essays..

I want to be knowledgeable..
and know a lot about everything..
but, I hate doing it for the sake of exams..
I want learn them because they are new knowledge..
not something to learn that I'll forget once written on the exam papers..
and that is mostly what I am doing now..

I hate studying because of this..